New App Translates Your Fitness Trainer’s Jargon

Ever stood perplexed while your fitness trainer asked you to “cultivate torque” or “engage your posterior chain?” The engineers at Google have a solution. Last Friday, they unveiled a beta version of Google Translate’s newest language: Fitness Trainer Jargon.

Lead project engineer Mike Lee explains, “When I started training at CrossFit Convoluted, I did not understand a word my trainer said. And I have degrees in mechanical engineering and physiology.”

Overheard Press reporters attended Google’s closed-door product demonstration. Chad, a Trainer at CrossFit Convoluted,  lead an elements class and Google Translate app translated Chad’s cues into English. For example,

Chad: “Establish and maintain spinal integrity throughout the entirety of this movement archetype”
English: “Keep your back straight.”

Chad: “We are going to embark on a time-priority WOD composed of AMRAP 5 minutes: 15 air squats and 10 sit-ups. Modulate your intensity to accommodate the duration of effort.”
English: Alternate between 15 squats and 10 sit-ups for five minutes. Pace yourself.”

Towards the end of the class, Chad gave a brief nutritional lecture. The crowd gasped as Google Translate kept up:

Chad: “Avoid chronic systemic inflammation and de novo lipogenesis by minimizing exposure to neolithic and modern era high-glycemic carbohydrate sources.”
English: “Cut back on grains and sweets.”

When we asked Lee whether we could test the app on a P90x infomercial, he demurred, explaining, “Our app can only translate statements that convey meaning.”