CrossFit Gym Won’t Let Visitor do Special Program in Corner, His Fitness Suffers Tremendously

Baltimore– While traveling for work last week, amateur competitive exerciser Jeremy Durbin suffered a tremendous setback in his athletic development. Durbin, who can’t afford a CrossFit affiliate membership, pays 200$ per month for personalized “remote” coaching and program design.

“My remote coach asked me to drop in at a local affiliate so I could hit some pause hang-clean triples from blocks at 60% of my one-rep max,” Durbin explained. “I’m on my third mesocycle of power and speed development and I am really aiming for top 1000 in my region this year in the CrossFit open.”

Durbin did a quick google search, found the nearest CrossFit affiliate, and dropped in a few minutes before their 6pm class began. He explained to the owner that his personal fitness needs required him to exclusively follow a complex and individualized program that would require him to take up an entire corner of the gym for at least an hour.

“I explained my program to the owner of the gym, and he told me I could only train if I was part of the group class. I was shocked,” Durbin confessed. “I was basically being told to wreck my entire training cycle with some haphazard workout thrown together for a bunch of soccer moms.”

Durbin says he fought the urge to simply take a rest day and return to his hotel, and performed the group workout instead. “The workout was pretty unimpressive, and I’ve already noticed it has caused a decline on my stamina this week, probably from adrenal fatigue.”

Witnesses say Durbin had to scale the group workout significantly, as it involved muscle-ups, which Durbin is unable to perform.