Powerlifting Judges Unsure if Lifter Squatted

A recent Random Powerlifting Federation meet was delayed for about 90 minutes when officials were forced to halt the proceedings to determine if Bubba Banks had squatted.
 
Reviewing a grainy iPhone 3 video in which most of the action was obscured by heads, spotters, equipment and the videographer’s thumb, the three judges and RPF commissioner Ed Williams tried to determine what had happened.
 
The video revealed that Banks had indeed addressed and unracked the 800-lb. bar, but it provided little clarity on whether additional lifting had occurred. After standing, apparently motionless, for a period of about 23 seconds, Banks re-racked the bar and let out a mighty roar, triumphantly throwing his arms as close to eye level as his squat suit and flexibility allowed.
 
Behind the judges, about 12 of the 45 people in attendance joined him in celebrating a new record.
 
While one judge immediately gave the lift a white light, the other two looked increasingly perplexed. On the video, one spectator, reportedly the lifter’s brother-in-law, shouted, “That was ass to grass, baby! Ass to grass!”
 
Banks could be seen turning to face the camera and screaming “I buried that shit!” while gesturing to his crotch repeatedly before passing out for about five minutes.
 
During the review, first judge Buddy Wheeler used two straws, a pencil, a cookie and a coffee mug to illustrate the exact depth of the squat, but the anatomical diagram failed to convince second judge Thomas Taylor, who said he didn’t see “even the first appearance of hip flexion.”
 
Breaking the deadlock, third judge Elmore Garriock carefully reviewed the relationship between the mug representing the knee and the cookie representing the hip, finally stating that Banks’ effort was the “deepest squat I have ever seen at an RPF meet.”
 
That was good enough for Commissioner Williams, who promptly announced that Banks had indeed broken yet another RPF squat record. Williams then ate the cookie from the diagram to ensure the heated discussion hadn’t caused him to accidentally drop him out of the super-heavyweight class.