CrossFit Athlete Jumps Weight Class After Application of Foundation, Concealer, Other Cosmetics

Scottsdale, AZ– At a local weightlifting meet, a female competitor was moved up a weight class after applying multiple pounds of makeup prior to the event.

The athlete, Melissa Bradford, made the mistake of submitting her pre-cosmetic weight to her coaches and was found to be significantly heavier at the time of the event.

The unofficial meet was held at CrossFit Vanity, and was intended to expose local CrossFit athletes to the sport of Olympic Weightlifting.

“I made the mistake of telling our members there would be a photographer at the event,” said Tyler Lowell, owner of CrossFit Vanity and organizer of the event. “I immediately received a dozen emails asking if there were any clothing requirements. I knew then I had made a mistake.”

Instead of showing up ready to compete, Lowell’s female athletes came sporting trendy mesh-paneled leggings, freshly manicured fingernails, eye-lash extensions, and pounds of waterproof makeup.

“Weightlifting is fun and all, but what really matters is how people will see us,” Bradford told the Overheard Press. “I mean, no one is going to remember who won a month from now, but the pictures of me that will be on social media will last for years.”

Bradford reportedly applied two coats of waterproof foundation, two coats of waterproof concealer, setting powder, blush, cream-based eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and lip-goss. The accumulated weight of these products was enough to push her into the next weight class.

“This isn’t that unusual for her,”  Lowell explained.

“When she wears her makeup on a day that we do assisted pull-ups, we have to switch her from the green band to the black band to accommodate the extra weight.”