Keyboard Warrior Loses Ability to Communicate Outside of Social Media

Fitness enthusiast Chris Hudson has always engaged in Facebook and Twitter debates, but the 32-year-old has now lost the ability to verbally communicate with others offline.

Doctors have determined that Hudson’s near-continuous confrontations on social media have interfered with the part of his brain that regulates human interaction and speech, leaving him unable to communicate with people around him.

Hudson’s wife Tracey was the first to notice something was wrong.

“He spent two entire days arguing over the CrossFit Games drug-testing policies. When I finally begged him to get offline, he wouldn’t speak. He just stared at me, pulled out his phone, and sent me a text.”

Choking back tears, Mrs. Hudson explained that her husband, now unable to communicate verbally, had sent her an image of Sean Bean from the Film Lord of The Rings with the caption “One does not simply ‘quit’ a Facebook debate.”

Since the incident, Hudson has found ways to transmit information to others through Tweets, memes, and posts to her Facebook Timeline.

Dr. Claire Walters, research communications officer for the Keyboard Warrior Rehabilitation Association, said: “While we haven’t heard before of Social Media debates leading to a complete loss in the ability to speak to other humans, many find it difficult to transmit their thoughts without emoji’s, memes, or hashtags.”

Dr. Walters explained that these limitations often result in anti-social behavior, relationship strains, and abusive use of GIF files.

The Overheard Press attempted to interview Hudson via Twitter, but he responded to our request by rickrolling us.