Gym Owner Secretly Sharpens Edges of Plyo Boxes

A Kansas City CrossFit Affiliate recently opened up to the Overheard Press about his practice of modifying his standard 24″ plyometric boxes.

Darren Holmes, owner of CrossFit Bloodsport, says he uses a fine-grain sand paper to sharpen the edges of his boxes. The result is a painful surprise for anyone who misses an attempted jump onto the box.

“Nature doesn’t care if you have shins,” Holmes explained, apparently under the impression that he was quoting CrossFit Founder Greg Glassman. “If missing a rep means a trip to the ER, people will try a lot harder to make their reps count.”

While the revelation that Holmes has been sharpening the edges of his boxes may shock some readers, his clients seemed unsurprised.

“I suspected he was doing something like this,” Said member James Rife. “When someone misses the box at our gym, it means life-long scars. I always wondered how a wooden box could destroy someone like that.”

Holmes’ gym, which has “Pain is weakness leaving the body” painted across the wall, shows other evidence of his no-pain-no-gain philosophy.

In particular, we noted that his climbing ropes were hung over bare concrete.

“If I put down mats it will encourage people to drop just because they are tired,” Holmes told us.

Sara Rutledge, a member of CrossFit Bloodsport, also wasn’t surprised to learn that her coach had been sharpening box edges. “He’s always talking about how stronger people are harder to kill, and sweat and blood, blah blah blah. I usually just ignore him. I’m here to look good for the beach season.”

“I think he just likes to see blood,” Said another member. “Whenever someone tears a hand on the pull-up bar, he immediately runs to grab his camera, like anyone wants to see that.”