Fighting Massive Hangover, Coach Programs 5k Row For AM Class

Spokane– After a night of heavy drinking, CrossFit trainer James Macmillan was not exactly on top of his game when he awoke to coach his gym’s morning classes.

The 26-year-old reported that he had been celebrating a friend’s birthday and didn’t leave the bar until around 1AM that morning. Planning ahead, the intoxicated trainer paid a cab to drop him off at the gym, where he slept in a pile of medicine balls. At 4:30 AM he was woken up by the sound of his first morning class banging on the gym’s window.

Though the gym’s website indicated that the day’s workout would be a couplet consisting of muscle-ups and snatches known as “heavy Amanda,” McMillan decided he needed to make a last minute change.

Seated in a folding chair and wearing sunglasses, McMillan directed his morning class to take down rowers and begin warming up for “some kind of long row or something.”

“If I had to guess I’d say my blood alcohol is around 0.10 right now,” he explained. “So we are going to [belch] stick to something monostructural today.”

“I knew if I programmed a 2k, I’d need to talk about pacing and stroke rate. I didn’t have that in me,” Macmillan later told the Overheard Press. He settled on a 5k with a 30-minute cut-off.

“I’ve never seen him this bad,” commented athlete Trisha Bachman. “Normally if he’s a little hungover he will just program “Cindy.” Apparently he was so smashed he didn’t think he could coach pull-ups and air squats.

McMillan made no attempts to hide his level of inebriation. Ten minutes into the workout he shuffled to the men’s restroom and never came out. Members of his class found him asleep, curled around a toilet.

“We left him with a blanket around him,” said long-time member Steve Arnold.

“I’m glad he changed the workout for today. People always talk about scaling programming to meet the needs of the athlete, but what about scaling the programming to meet the abilities of the coach?”