Ring Dips Prove Effective Form of Drug Testing for CrossFit Games

With the growth of the CrossFit Games comes the ever-increasing temptation for individual athletes to use performance-enchancing drugs. A new policy replaces traditional blood and urine PED screens with a performance-based test.

Yesterday The Overheard Press was granted an exclusive interview with Robert Burgess, Spokesman for the CrossFit Games.

“This year we are going to give all of the individual athletes a performance-based drug test. The test will consist of a relatively small number of ring-dips. If athletes have been using PED’s, their increased muscular strength and decreased tendon strength should show up in pretty a dramatic way.”

So far CrossFit has defended this performance-based PED testing, going so far as to rename Regional Event 2 “The Tittie Twister.”

“We make a bold claim here and that’s that the athletes and teams that win the CrossFit Games are the fittest on earth, and in order to back up that claim we have to make sure there’s a level playing field.”