Doctors Warn CrossFit Can Cause Serious Injury to Ego

Doctors across the country are arguing that CrossFit could do more harm than good.

The program urges exercisers to compete against the clock, and scores are recorded on a whiteboard afterward. This emphasis on competition may lead to serious injury to one of the most vulnerable parts of the body– the ego.

Competitive group exercise causes inflated concepts of self to literally explode, flooding blood vessels with shredded particles of ego and in extreme cases, causing kidney failure.

One woman said her experience, sometimes called “egomyolisis” was more painful than the rejection of her first husband.

“One day he told me he didn’t love me anymore, and he just left … but getting beat by women twice my age in my first CrossFit workout was far worse.”

Dr. Ron Goldin says the risk is highest for those at the extreme ends of the self-esteem spectrum.

“If you think very highly of your fitness level, but haven’t done CrossFit before, your ego is in incredible danger.”

Dr. Golden recommends those with a high view of their own fitness incrementally expose themselves to small failures before trying CrossFit.

“Get in an argument you know you’re going to lose, enter a chess tornament having never played the game before, or take the Bar Exam without studying. Exposure to small failures will help bring your ego to a safe level before your first CrossFit experience.”

Unfortunately, not everyone is aware of these risks before trying the program. 29-year-old Patrick Terry’s first CrossFit session sent him to the therapist for 2 weeks.

“I lifted weights regularly, I knew going in I was strong, I was fit,” Terry recalled.

Terry’s CrossFit experience included a three-round workout of medicine-ball cleans and overhead lifting with a barbell. Though he was no stranger to the weight room, he couldn’t perform either movement correctly and his weight was reduced to an empty bar.

The other participants, mostly mom’s in their 30’s and 40’s, beat him significantly in the workout and cheered him on as he struggled to finish.

“I used to call people I didn’t agree with ‘snowflakes.’ I was tough. I was a man. CrossFit took that from me.”

After weeks of intensive ego-reconstruction therapy, it’s not clear if Terry will ever be able to train again.

“I still have nightmares where I have to ask my wife to open jars for me.”