A North Georgia CrossFit gym has taken an unprecedented step in customer service, offering to turn on the air conditioning briefly each day after the third heat-related incident.
Owner Bill Meechum says his new policy is designed to “appease the crybabies” that can’t handle the summer heat.
“CrossFit Sahara has always been about making people tougher,” Meechum told the Overheard Press. “It’s a bit out of character for us to turn on the air, but after the most recent issues, we had to.”
Late last week, Meechum sent his morning class to fetch jump-ropes for the warm-up. His members went into the supply closet where the ropes hang to discover their plastic handles had melted together.
A few days later, three separate athletes lost their workout logs when ambient temperatures caused the paper journals to spontaneously ignite.
“It’s like training inside Satan’s asshole,” Said Monica Miller, a 35-year-old mother of three. “When I come to class, my kids prefer to wait in the car with the windows rolled up and the engine cut off.”
Despite the oppressive temperatures inside his gym, Meechum insists that the heat isn’t all bad.
“One guy cut his shin on a missed box-jump. It was bleeding pretty good, but he just pressed the cut against a kettlebell we use to prop open the front door. It instantly cauterized the wound.”