Bergeron’s Hip Extension Ruins Family’s Picnic

Ben Bergeron, Coach of CrossFit Games Champion, Katrin Davidsdottir, found himself behind bars Monday. The Level 4 CrossFit Trainer was arrested during a ‘tastefully nude’ photoshoot, and is currently out on bail.

The incident occurred at Hoyt Park, a public recreation area in the city of Madison. Bergeron arrived at noon with a small team of photographers, who set up their equipment in the middle of the park’s designated picnic area. Witnesses say that’s when Bergeron stripped off his clothes and began moving his body in ways some have called “unspeakable.”

“I remember taking a bite, and then seeing a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye.” said one witness. “I’ll never forget what I saw when I turned my head. For the rest of our lives, my family will associate the taste of chicken salad sandwiches with the image of that man’s pale, exposed groin thrusting into a sandbag.”

“I thought maybe he couldn’t afford clothing,” said another witness. “I’ve heard CrossFit is expensive.”

The Stevenson family, who had been enjoying a lunch-time meal of ham and cheese sandwiches, received the worst of Bergeron’s public display.

“He was facing directly away from our picnic blanket, holding a rock-solid deadlift position.” Mark Stevenson told the Overheard Press. “I felt so many emotions; anger, shock, fear, but I also caught myself wishing my clean set-up looked that good.”

After a few minutes of shock and terror, a park janitor called the local police, who wrapped Bergeron in a blanket and placed him in the back of a patrol car.

Bergeron insists the incident was a misunderstanding, and has plans to re-shoot in a more discreet location.

“I thought the sign said ‘Pubic Park,'” he told the Overheard Press.