Insecure Man Insists Games Athletes ‘Way Hotter’ in ‘Before’ Pictures

Local misogynist and sometime porn addict Bobby Dave Thurman of Georgia revealed on Thursday he finds “before” pictures of female CrossFit Games athletes “way hotter.”

Specifically referencing recent posts by Emily Bridgers, Chyna Cho and others, Thurman highlighted “too much muscle” as indicative of a woman who is “highly unlikely to do what she’s told.”

Thurman, who suffers from low self-esteem and has been diagnosed with a number of personality disorders, was very clear about what sort of companionship he prefers in his double-wide trailer.

“I don’t want a woman who looks like a man,” he said as he trolled Instagram and posted derogatory, obscene comments beneath every before/after post he could find. “A woman needs to be able to lift a frying pan, and that’s it.”

Thurman, a 40-year-old who has been divorced three times and has not dated since the Clinton Administration, said he was particularly offended that women can now decide how they want to look free from societal pressure applied by the male establishment.

“First they lift weights, then they want to get jobs and vote,” he said from a den papered with images of Kate Moss. “I don’t think women should be allowed to have Instagram accounts, driver’s licenses or gym memberships.

“You don’t need abs if you’re wearing a corset.”