Guy in Crowd ‘Definitely’ Going to Qualify for CrossFit Games Next Year

Inspired by and incredibly jealous of the athleticism of CrossFit Games athletes, Buddy Lawrence of Illinois has guaranteed that he will qualify for the 2018 competition.

Lawrence first made the declaration when he saw “all the cool shit” in the Reebok tent but didn’t have enough money to pay for any of it.

He again stated his intentions when he reviewed the loads for Muscle-Up Clean Ladder and estimate that he could indeed add 125 lb. to his clean PR in the next 11 months.

Finally, completely drunk in the beer garden toward the end of Day 3, Lawrence staggered to the railing to warn overall leader Mat Fraser that the top of the podium will be occupied next year.

“I’ll crush you next year, Fraser! You bum! I’m coming for you! You’re not even the fittest guy in this beer garden!”

Lawrence was later seen facedown in a plate of nachos with a half-completed and only somewhat legible list of goals on the table beside him.