Handyman at CrossFit Games Inspires Mat Fraser to Get Real Job

Two-time CrossFit Games champion Mat Fraser said he will not defend his title in 2018 after a life-changing moment during the 2017 competition in Madison.

After winning 2223 Intervals and establishing an insurmountable lead, Fraser looked up into the roaring crowd and locked eyes for a brief second with general handyman Billy Kibbins of Illinois. Kibbins, 58, is the owner of Hammer Time Renovations.

“He just stood there glaring at me with his arms crossed, as if I hadn’t done enough to win his approval,” said Fraser, who only accumulated 1,132 of a possible 1,300 points at the Games. “His steely eyes bored into my soul and laid me bare. I had an existential crisis and suddenly felt ashamed that I snatch for a living.”

After winning four events and taking the championship, Fraser has now earned about $800,000 in prize money for lifting things quickly a bunch of times in rapid succession. But no amount of cash seems enough to satisfy Fraser’s new desire to “get some calluses on these delicate hands.”

Fraser explained: “As the cheers and adulation rained upon me, I realized that perhaps there’s more to life than being really good at exercise. Later, when I was holding a giant check for $285,000 and receiving the world’s congratulations, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d be more fulfilled if maybe I’d built the boxes I was standing on.”

Kibbins, tracked down packing insulation in the crawl space of a Chicago-area bungalow, said he actually didn’t recall locking eyes with the champ, nor did he disapprove of Fraser’s lack of traditional employment. In fact, Kibbins reported he was probably just glaring because of constipation and hemorrhoids related to excessive intake of free protein bars in Vendor Pavilion.

Fraser brushed aside Kibbins’ constipation explanation.

“I saw what I saw. It’s time to trade this white leader’s jersey for a blue collar and tool belt.”