‘Too Sore’ Surpasses ‘Headache’ as Top Excuse for Avoiding Intimacy

A recent study published in the Journal of Neuroscience reveals that ‘post-exercise soreness’ has surpassed ‘headache’ as the most commonly invoked reason for reduced sexual desire.

Researchers from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill surveyed 3,100 married couples using a questionnaire to ascertain detailed information about their exercise training habits. They were also asked about their libido, answering questions on their sexual activity.

“The results of our study were surprising,” said lead author Jeffrey Mogil. “‘Not tonight dear, I have a headache’ has become ‘not tonight dear, that workout wrecked me.'”

The study noted that couples who engaged in CrossFit training were particularly effected. “CrossFit athletes routinely tax their ‘hips and grip,'” Mogil explained. “As it turns out, those are the same motor-patterns that are critical in the bedroom.”

Of note, sexual libido in women was effected by training soreness 98% more than men.

“Our data suggests men would still agree to intimacy with their wives even while suffering from compound fractures, torn ligaments, and life-threatening cases of rhabdomyolysis, but that’s not really surprising.”