The second his athlete took first in the Viking Overlord Division of FitMaster Wodtastic Throwdown Challenge, Jesper Lundgren became a brilliant coach, reports indicate.
Elsa Eriksson, seventh place in the Baby Viking Division, said that she had never thought twice about Lundgren before but was now certain he could get her on top of the podium next year.
“I will definitely be firing my programmer and hiring Jesper,” she said while painfully removing large amounts of kinesio tape that had been carefully applied around the tattoos on her torso. “I thought he was pretty creepy before, but he’s obviously the real deal.”
Spectator Hugo Nilsson also noticed the change in Lundgren.
“It’s like I instantly realized his backpack is full of specialized coaching tools instead of just sweaty T-shirts, protein bars and bits of skin he’s keeping for no apparent reason.”
Lundgren, who immediately began cultivating a new image by donning a knitted cap and patterned knee socks he will wear at all subsequent events, confirmed that something had definitely changed.
“The second my athlete won, I suddenly understood a lot more about tempo squats, double days, accessory work, recovery rowing and energy-system training,” he explained. “I’m looking forward to sharing some of my advanced theories with Ben Bergeron at the CrossFit Games next year.”