New evidence indicates the James Hobart-Austin Malleolo bromance is more complicated and mysterious than first believed. Investigative reporters working for the Overheard Press have discovered that since birth, each has carried half of the same enchanted amulet.
Malleolo, who confirmed that the amulet is “as real as our love for one another,” explained that his half of the magical object was gifted to him shortly after birth. Hobart, who carries his half of the amulet in his left hip pocket at all times, said his family history contains a legend associated with the talisman. The legend includes details of a post-birth visit to the Hobart home by a “wizard-looking dude who carried an empty barbell as a staff.”
Pausing the interview briefly to complete a synchronized partner heavy Fran, “Au-Mo” and “Jay-Ho,” as they are now calling themselves, confirmed that they have renamed the talisman “The Holleolo.”
After a second workout involving 500 unbroken triple-unders performed by both athletes together with a single rope, the two walked outside of the gym, and paused at the start of an outdoor obstacle course clearly designed to challenge the raw athleticism of the jaunty couple. After an exchange of knowing looks, two completed a complicated series of high fives and chest bumps before preparing to reunite the two halves of The Holleolo.
As the two pieces clicked together, lightning started arcing from barbell to barbell around the gym, not unlike The Quickening shown in the 1986 documentary “Highlander.” Hobart and Malleolo were consumed by a blinding flash of light as the gym’s windows shattered in unison. As the light and smoke faded, witnesses saw only one man standing where the two once were– Spencer Hendel. Hendel went on to complete the course with blistering speed.
As the gathering crowd watched with amazement, one man was heard saying “That explains why I’ve never seen those three in the same room together.”