Tough Bearded Veterans Start Tough-Bearded-Veteran-Themed Apparel Company

In a surprising move, two combat veterans are turning their combined 6 years of military experience into Beard Warrior Apparel, a lifestyle brand for those who have served in the U.S. military.

Jason Hernandez, a veteran of the U.S. Army, and Cole Jenkins, a veteran of the U.S. Navy, both have beards. They are also very tough. The two met at CrossFit , and quickly formed a friendship.

“When I first saw Jason, he was wearing a shirt that said ‘I served’,” Hernandez recalled. “He looked at me and saw I was wearing a shirt that said ‘Freedom isn’t free.’ We were both glad to see another sheepdog, since our military service makes it so hard to relate to civilians.”

Now the two men are launching an apparel company designed specifically for fitness-minded veterans like themselves. Jenkins, who describes himself as the “business” side of the partnership, hopes that the company will help veterans be more open about their service.

“Beard Warrior Apparel is more than a shirt company. We are helping veterans to build their personal identity around their past military service in the most ostentatious way possible.”

The Company’s more popular shirts boast slogans such as “I’m a veteran, I’ve seen worse”, “Keep Calm and Operate”, and  “Enjoy The Freedom, No Need to Thank Me.”

Records indicate that Private First Class Hernandez served on one combat tour as an HVAC maintenance specialist, and Specialist Jenkins, who frequently refers to himself as an “operator” was in fact the operator of his unit’s mail room.

Sources close to the pair said they seemed to enjoy their short time in the military. One friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that after Hernandez was discharged from service, he grew his beard out and began talking about the  “awful things he saw.”

“All of a sudden he was constantly using terms like ‘downrange’, ‘Fubar’, and ‘SOP’, I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. He also insinuates he has significant combat experience, but I’m pretty sure all he ever did was get yelled at and fixed air-conditioners.”

The pair is also planning to release a line of protein drinks developed for tough, bearded veteran athletes. Flavors will include ‘Valhala Vanilla’, ‘Tough Guy Tiramisu’, and ‘PTSD is for Pussies Peach Cobbler.'”