CrossFit Athlete in Kayak Not Sure Where to Adjust Resistance

CrossFit enthusiast Jeff Tanner remains confused after exposure to recreational watercraft over the Thanksgiving holiday.

While staying in a lakeside cabin this past week, the 38-year-old had access to a kayak.

Known to “crush” workouts involving the indoor rower, Tanner assumed he would have no problem getting a workout from this primitive, floating exercise device.

As Tanner pushed away from the dock, he began looking for a way to adjust the resistance on his kayak.

“I only row with the damper setting at 10,” he explained. “Anything less is a threat to my gains.”

The father-of-three had not planned on wearing a life-vest, assuming the bright orange safety gear was designed with far weaker individuals in mind. However, when he noticed the lack of foot-straps in his kayak, he changed his mind.

“I felt concerned, so I put on the vest.”

After scanning the horizon, Tanner decided to paddle to a small cove on the opposite side of the lake. Twenty minutes later, he had succeeded only in paddling in a large circle. Exhausted and confused, he retired to the dock.

“I realized then that CrossFit’s theme of ‘constant variance’ could not possibly include activities that occur outside of the gym. I felt pretty silly.”