Local Man Regrets Beginning CrossFit Open Preparation In January

CrossFit enthusiast, Jerry Stevenson, faces another year of self-loathing and disappointment as he approaches the CrossFit Open, once again dismally unprepared for the five-week test of fitness.

The 32-year-old Sales Manager vowed to change his habits after his performance in the 2017 Open exposed the effects of inconsistent training, poor diet, and lack of sleep.

“I decided to start training for the 2018 Open right away, but it seemed like a good idea to take a break during my kid’s summer vacation,” Stevenson explained. He went on to recall how his plans to “get serious” about training during the early fall were routed by a busy work schedule, and then later by the holidays.

In the end, Stevenson estimates he will be even less prepared for this competition than in years past, and his outlook is grim.

“I’m going to try to cram a few months of training into the next three weeks, but judging by my previous levels of commitment, I doubt I’ll even stick to that plan.”

With the first Open announcement roughly a month away, Stevenson has temporary cut bread and sugar out of his diet, and has made it to a record-breaking three CrossFit classes in one week. Those who know him best, however, doubt his commitment.

“He was always a competitive boy,” recalled Stevenson’s mother. “But he never would put any time or effort into practice or training. Now instead of embarrassing our family on the pee-wee football field, he’s dragging our name through the mud by scaling burpees.”