CrossFit enthusiast Steve Sellers arrived at his local affiliate this morning suffering from a massive hangover. The 28-year-old exerciser had stayed out late the previous night, and consumed multiple beers and what witnesses described as a “generous” amount of bourbon.
After sleeping a few hours on his bathroom floor, Sellers was roused and driven to his gym’s 6 AM class by friend and co-worker Dan Erickson.
“He made a commitment to go with me to CrossFit every morning for six months,” Erickson explained. “I wasn’t about to let him get out of it just because of a little alcohol poisoning.”
At the start of the class, Sellers stood in a metaphorical fog, his mind struggling to estimate how many poker chips he would need for the 20 minute workout. He also stood in a literal fog, the smell of dried sweat and bourbon following him wherever he went in the gym.
Having never performed the workout, Sellers ran through a mental calculation, determining that a single round ought to take him 30 seconds to complete. Accounting for his inebriation and horrendous physical condition, he made the conservative estimate that he would achieve at least 30 rounds.
Things did not go as planned. Three minutes after the clock had started, Sellers had disappeared into the bathroom. He returned some five minutes later, a pale look of fear and regret on his face. He resumed “Cindy” but ultimately completed only ten rounds.
“At 15 minutes into the workout, I had to move away from him,” said a fellow gym member. “He smelled like the floor of a bar, and it was going to make me puke.”