Amazon Picks Cookeville for HQ2

Cookeville, Tennesse, has long been the mecca of the CrossFit Games, with top athletes making pilgrimages to the hometown of Rich Froning for years.

The little town has previously hosted James Hobart, Dan Bailey, and even Mat Fraser, but now Cookeville will now be hosting HQ2, Amazon’s coveted second headquarters.

CEO Jeff Bezos explained his company’s decision in a press release early this morning.

“All the proposed cities showed tremendous enthusiasm and creativity,” He explained to the crowded room. “But through this process, one city stood out for its propensity to attract and produce winners.”

“Once Fraser made the move, we knew Amazon would follow,” said one analyst.

Amazon says it will spend $5 billion in the town, and plans to hire 50,000, significantly outpacing Cookeville’s second biggest employer, Kentucky Fried Chicken.

When asked how he secured the deal, Cookeville Mayor Ricky Shelton was at a loss for words.

“We didn’t even know we were in the running,” Shelton explained during this morning’s press conference. “We knew some cities had offered Amazon billions in tax credits and incentives, so today we will be sending Amazon an autographed copy of Rich Froning’s book “First: What It Takes to Win” and a box of Ralph’s donuts.”