Man Observes CrossFit for First Time, Realizes He’s Never Actually Worked out Before

Donny Hendricks is no stranger to the gym, but the 38-year-old came to a shocking realization Wednesday after witnessing a CrossFit workout for the first time.

Staying at the Marriot for a business conference, Hendricks made his way to the second floor fitness center before breakfast. “I was delighted to see the hotel gym had both a treadmill and dumbbells,” he said.

After 30 minutes of steady state cardio in his target heart-rate range, Hendricks moved to the dumbbells to complete a few sets of light lateral-raises, adding that he likes to “keep the weight light and reps low” so as not to “bulk up.”

But as Hendricks moved to the corner of the hotel gym designated for free-weights, he saw something he couldn’t explain.

“There was this woman, and, I don’t really know how to explain it, but she was lifting a heavy dumbbell with her entire body. Then, she did a sort of push-up that ended in jumping up in the air and clapping.”

“It was like she was fighting against gravity, but she kept doing it over and over.”

Staring at the unknown female athlete as she performed a couplet of dumbbell snatches and burpees, Hendricks was hit with the crushing realization that what he was witnessing was a typical workout for this woman, and he had never done anything like it in his life.

Witnesses say Hendricks began pacing around the hotel gym and mumbling angrily, glancing back at the female CrossFit athlete as she struggled through the final reps.

Witnesses say Hendricks began screaming “It’s all lies!”, and ripping the hotel’s Les Mills posters off the walls.He then kicked over a stack of Bosu balls, emitting cries of “stupid” and “useless.”

Eventually he tired himself out, slumping to the floor and pulling off his sweat proof iPhone armband. “I never even sweat,” he mumbled, curling into a ball and falling asleep against the base of a NordicTrack.

After hotel security was called, Hendricks was escorted to the lobby and treated for shock.