Cyclist’s Gender Remains Mystery Despite Close Pass

Boulder, CO –– Area residents have noticed that it is increasingly difficult to tell the gender of cyclists in the area, despite the widespread use of skin-tight spandex riding attire.

Tara Williams noticed the phenomena last Tuesday, while entertaining guests on her front porch. “We see bikes go by all the time, and usually think nothing of it,” She told the Overheard Press. “But on this occasion, I said ‘wow she’s fast’ out loud to my friends. We spent the next thirty minutes debating whether the rider was a masculine female, or an effeminate male.”

But Williams is not the first to notice the difficult in identifying the gender of cyclists, which is a product of more than just the blazing speeds with which they often pass observers.

“Excessive cycling, like reusable grocery bags and vegan diets, seems to have a powerful androgynizing effect on the human anatomy,” Explained Kevin Pierce, professor of physiology at CU Boulder.

“We turned it into a drinking game,” Williams explained. “Every time a cyclist would pass who had no discernible male or female characteristics, we would take a shot.”