Man Who Says He’s Getting ‘In Shape’ for CrossFit Now Almost Ready

Damien Phillips has long promised to give CrossFit a try, and after months of avoiding the subject, the 25-year-old claims he is “almost ready” to take a free class at his local affiliate.

Encouraged by a growing list of friends and family who have sipped the Kool-Aid, Phillips had indicated that his plan to “get in shape” before attempting CrossFit is nearing completion.

“I’ve seen the CrossFit Games on television, and I’m no fool” Phillips explained. “My routine of bodybuilding and elliptical training is preparing me for CrossFit, just like my master’s degree in art history prepared me for my job at Starbucks.”

Though both his 68 year old mother and 4-year-old nephew regularly participate in CrossFit classes, Phillips insists that the program is only safe for those who are already in peak physical condition.

After years of sporadic attendance at the 24-hour fitness near his house, he believes he is now “close” to that goal.

“I want to add about another inch to my biceps,” he said between sips of Muscle Milk. “Then I might be ready.”