Teen CrossFit Athletes Caught Hosting Max Lift Session While Parents Away

PHOENIX– The sound of dropping weights lead to calls to the police in a North Phoenix neighborhood Wednesday night. The disturbance was the result of a house lifting party, thrown by teenage CrossFit enthusiasts.

James Burke, owner of the home, was out of town with his wife when the party was discovered. When authorities arrived, Burke’s son, along with half a dozen other teenagers, were lifting extremely heavy weights overhead.

“We raised them to make responsible choices, and they know they aren’t allowed to max out on their lifts unless there is an adult present,” Burke told the Overheard Press.

The teens, apparently interested in experimenting with heavier loads, were taking turns lifting and coaching one another, something authorities warn is growing in popularity among middle-class youth.

“When these kids aren’t supervised, they get together and start pushing one another to do more,” Said police chief Doug Stanley. “Sometimes they do something called ‘handstands’ which can lead to them falling over and damaging property.”

James Burke isn’t letting his son off the hook for participating in the unsupervised lifting session.

“When I was a kid, my dad caught me smoking,” Burke said. “He made me smoke the whole pack, and I was sick for a week.” Drawing on this cruel yet effective punishment form his own youth, Burke plans to discipline his son by having him perform a 20 rep max on the squat. “He won’t want to see a heavy barbell again for a long time.”